When the movie first started, and through the first main sequence, I was delighted with the thoughts of how bad I was going to slaughter this movie when it came to review time. I even sent the staff a message saying “This movie sucks balls” and commenting that the stunning visuals and great sound basically amounted to wallpaper in a shithouse.
Then, I got it…
Apparently I sneezed or farted or got something in my eye when the movie started up because I feel now like I missed something that was telling me what the plot was. I spent the first 15 minutes or so of the film wondering what the fuck was going on and swearing I was going to slap everyone involved in the process of making this film. Now…I can’t tell you what flipped the switch but at some point the little light bulb came on and I said “ooooohhhhhh…I get it!” and my experience changed immediately.
Faster than I could realize it, the movie went from “Why would they even DO that!?” to “Sweet kippered monkey balls, that was awesome!”
I don’t want to spoil anything so I’ll only give the most vague of plot summaries.
Chick gets put in a mental hospital.
Chick experiences some shifty business.
Chick goes all Dreamscape and proceeds to fuck shit up.
What ensues is a roller coaster of tracers, explosions, dragons, kung-fu, steam-powered super Nazis, planes, trains, automobiles, helicopters and giant mini-gun carrying Samurai.
At this point I’m comfortable saying that the only truly BAD thing about this movie was Carla Gugino’s accent.
If she’d been naked the whole time, I wouldn’t have noticed, though.
The other semi-major down side is that if you get up any time in the beginning of the film, for popcorn or to have a wee, you’re going to miss something and that could screw up a good portion of the movie. Well, that and the fact that the producers went for a PG-13 rating instead of R which would have allowed them to get away with a lot more and would have made this movie MUCH more forceful and aggressive. You’ll know the parts I mean.
Bottom line, I’d recommend this movie to anyone who is out looking for a good action / adventure flick. Just don’t expect it to be a powerhouse.