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The PlayStation Network Is Still Down. This Is What You Could Be Doing.

Posted by on May 10, 2011 at 7:33 pm

As of this writing, the PlayStation Network has been down for almost three weeks. Sony came out and told everyone their junk got hacked into and they’d restore it as soon as they figure out how to turn on their Norton Firewall software (the Geek Squad is taking forever). This means no playing games online, no downloading content, and definitely no sales for those affected game makers who rely on the network to be alive and kicking. That said, we at FEZ have some suggestions as to what to do in the meantime.


Get a better game system

Your friends have been ragging on you to get on Xbox Live and play with them on an absolutely superior service (albeit with 100% more racism) with a better controller, better hardware, better games, etc. You, being the meathead you are, repeatedly turned them down. Guess what, son? They were right.

Meet people who aren’t douchebags

Well, Einstein left his wife and married his first cousin, but he did that relativity thing. Should you meet someone in your travels that uses the word ‘pwn’ in a spoken sentence, you can legally murder them in some states.

Be happy you can play your PS3 offline without mandatory software updates every single time you turn it on

Seriously.

Write that Great American Novel you’ve been wanting to do for years

Who would win: an Imperial-class Star Destroyer or a Federation Galaxy-class starship? These depths have yet to be plumbed. You could be the first.

Not play video games

Nah, that’s a stupid idea.

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