Robot Unicorn Attack 2 is ruining my iPad experience. Like Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars on the Nintendo DS (note to self: buy Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars for iPad), RUA2 has subverted my playtime of a bunch of other games I’d bought the iPad for and intended to invest a lot of time into. In RUA2‘s defense, it’s fast and pretty and you can start over quickly so any unicorn-based failures you may have are quickly swept away and you just keep playing… and playing…
My last dabble with Adult Swim’s Robot Unicorn Attack was in its primordial Flash game garb and Erasure’s 1994 hit “Always” looped in the background. Time has been kind to the game as the production value has gone through the roof, but the licensed music has been relegated to an IAP (along with other eighties themes like the theme to Never Ending Story) because the game’s free. Seriously, if you have a newer iOS device, just grab it.
So anyway, RUA2 is an always-running side-scroller in which one button lets you leap and the other lets you dash through obstacles over the course of three “wishes”, which serve as your lives. You gallop over and under a series of floating platforms collecting fairies, gems, and rushing golems while a dramatic scene plays out in the background. I can’t tell you how much of a narrative happens as you play because I honestly get boned in the five-digit region. You’re offered various upgrades as you rack up scores, such as wings and cooler trails while modifiers before each rub of the lamp let you vacuum up nearby collectibles, auto-dash an obstacle when you become temporarily absent-minded, on and on.
Just get it. You owe it to yourself. Unicorns.