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Review Time! – Insidious

Posted by on April 10, 2011 at 12:46 am

Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls…

Also, spoilarz

OK.

Let me start by saying this; When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I really wanted to see it. It looked like a cross between The Exorcist and Poltergeist, both of which I love, and I was like “whaaaaaaaaaaaat!”

So when I sat down to watch it, I was all giddy and excited, like a little boy at Christmas but now I kinda feel like that little boy who thought he was getting an Xbox 360 and it was really just a box of sweaters.

Yeah…something like that.

This was probably the most contrived piece of shit I’ve ever seen.

The story goes something like this. A family moves into a new house and some strange stuff starts happening. Things are found out of place, mostly and…well…some boring stuff.

Then, the kid bumps his noggin and, the next thing you know, he’s in a coma.

Then, mommy starts seeing shit…kids running around the house, people in her bedroom, and this guy…

Yep. They’re being haunted by the bastard love child of Darth Maul and Bozo the Clown! Break out the light sabers and cotton candy and let’s get it on!

SOOOOOOOO…They call some psychic chick who sends in a team, the team decides the mom isn’t a loonie and then the psychic lady comes along to deal with the situation. We find out that it’s not the house that’s haunted, it’s the kid and then she proceeds to get her ass ghost-stomped.

From there, things just go down hill…Inherited powers, astral projection, some more Darth Bozo and some creepy old lady who looked like she needed a kick in the groinparts. Add in a really lame ending, some terrible directorial choices, crappy camera work and not a SINGLE BOOB, throughout and what you have is a lamefest of epic proportions.

Go ahead…watch it but I’m telling you; You’ve been warned. This one was only better than Death of a Ghost Hunter because the acting was fair (not good…FAIR). Seriously. I’ve warned you. Don’t blame me.

4/10 FleshEatingZipper

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