This article was submitted by guest contributor Jen
True Blood Season 4 continues on with more blood, more boobs and more SEX! Vampire fans, read on for highlights from episode 2 and thoughts of things to come!
WARNING! This article contains spoilers so if you don’t want to know that Snape kills Dumbledore, stop reading and go watch the show. Otherwise; read on!
We start our 2nd episode of the season in Hotshot where Jason is having his head licked by Timbo, who “don’t got no band aids”. BLECH! I don’t know what’s worse.. licking someone’s head or having your head licked by a guy who’s never heard of toothpaste. Crystal is back in Hotshot with her kidnapper, Felton, who has decided to make Jason a were-panther so he can get Crystal pregnant in order to propagate their race. Felton is shooting blanks, and Jason may well be the first were-panther in Hotshot who isn’t related to everyone else. I don’t know about you, but I’d be happy to see at least ONE soul in Hotshot that ain’t in-bred.
YEEEEHAW! Pass me tha spleen-fritters, sis!
Looks like there is beaucoup trouble in paradise for our favorite vampire/human couple with Jessica and Hoyt. Starting with picketers at Fangtasia, Hoyt and some nut job get into it after said nut job shouts “I am a Christian, God Dammit!” After the scuffle, arguments ensue and Jessica hightails it back to Fangtasia and enjoys the eats of some fangbanger. Word to the wise Fangbangers, Guy Liner Bill suggests an iron supplement and vitamin B6, twice a day.
Sam and brother Tommy have a touching moment in the woods. Not the touching kind of touching, but a little brotherly love that don’t hurt no one. Looks like these two are going to try and start getting along. Sam has put on his big-boy pants – finally. I couldn’t deal with “Asshole Sam” for another minute.
Way more boobies tonight than in the 1st episode of the season. Sam’s fellow anger management attendee, Luna, bares all, and she can wash my car anytime. Katarina, witch-spy for Vampire King Bill is in a nice little bang scene with King Bill, and of course Crystal in Hotshot. She may be her own grandma, but she’s got a nice rack!
For the ladies, get an eye-full of Sam’s very hot ass in several scenes, Sam’s brother Tommy, who clearly manscapes (thank you), King Bill has a body to die for, and FINALLY we get to ogle our Viking-of-the-year, Vampire Eric without his shirt. A little bit of Eric goes a long way. I am very disappointed we didn’t see more, but I do have faith in Alan Ball. He knows what we like!
King Bill sends Eric to disband the new coven of witches, featuring Marnie (who is clearly bat-shit crazy). Eric throws some fang around, but Marnie and the coven, including Lafayette and yummy Jesus, join hands while Marnie casts a spell on Eric. Later, we see Eric, shirtless, aimlessly walking around when Sookie pulls up and tries to get his attention. The Viking doesn’t know who he is, and he wants to know why Sookie “smells so good”. I definitely love where this is going, and my fellow Sookie Stackhouse book readers are excited to see this play out on the screen. Ladies and Gentleman (who swing that way), make sure you DVR these episodes so you can see our Viking in slow-mo, over and over and over again. There will be lots and lots o’ eye candy this season! Stay Tuned, Breathers, this is gonna be good!