Movie Review: Grave Encounters

Posted by on August 26, 2011 at 11:12 am

Let’s get one thing straight, I was looking forward to this with high hopes because of the silent praise the film was receiving, much like Paranormal Activity. Written and directed by The Vicious Brothers, this bastard child of The Blair Witch Project and House on Haunted Hill provides less scares then both combined, not only that but it’s a steaming pile of rat shit, and that rat was the best actor in this movie.

The films starts off with a studio producer assuring you that this is completely real and they only edited down the footage for time purposes. A group of paranormal investigators go into an insane asylum to record their TV show’s 6th episode. You soon see that these guys are a bunch of fakes after bribing local people for ghost stories and mentioning they will do anything for a scare. Unfortunately for the paranormal crew this place is actually haunted and when things start happening everyone freaks out. Trying to leave, the crew discovers that there is no way out. The entrance to the asylum now is another hallway, stairs to the roof are blocked, hallways go on forever and it remains dark even during the day.

The movie was extremely predictable, Kelly was calling out everything that was about to happen. The special effects look like someone just learned to use After Effects from Video Copilot (Video Copilot even has an app that does the effect now). I know that when people film a reality show you have cameras that move around, but fuck man, whoever decided it was a good idea to use the zoom on every other frame needs to be fucking shot! I’m bashing this movie and I hate to do it because I wanted to like it, but most of the “screamer” videos on YouTube are scarier than this. What pisses me off more is that I spent $6.99 to rent this motherfucker on iTunes and the guy literally tells the people watching this “fuck you”, which didn’t sit well with me. Don’t believe the hype about this movie because it’s shit and you’ll hate yourself for watching a watered down version of House on Haunted Hill with ghosts that sound like T-Rex from Jurassic Park.

If you love Ghost Hunters, Paranormal Activity, Cloverfield, or even fucking Blair Witch Project stay far away from this movie.

2/10 FleshEatingZipper

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