Movie Review: Grave Encounters

Posted by on August 26, 2011 at 11:12 am

Let’s get one thing straight, I was looking forward to this with high hopes because of the silent praise the film was receiving, much like Paranormal Activity. Written and directed by The Vicious Brothers, this bastard child of The Blair Witch Project and House on Haunted Hill provides less scares then both combined, not only that but it’s a steaming pile of rat shit, and that rat was the best actor in this movie.

The films starts off with a studio producer assuring you that this is completely real and they only edited down the footage for time purposes. A group of paranormal investigators go into an insane asylum to record their TV show’s 6th episode. You soon see that these guys are a bunch of fakes after bribing local people for ghost stories and mentioning they will do anything for a scare. Unfortunately for the paranormal crew this place is actually haunted and when things start happening everyone freaks out. Trying to leave, the crew discovers that there is no way out. The entrance to the asylum now is another hallway, stairs to the roof are blocked, hallways go on forever and it remains dark even during the day.

The movie was extremely predictable, Kelly was calling out everything that was about to happen. The special effects look like someone just learned to use After Effects from Video Copilot (Video Copilot even has an app that does the effect now). I know that when people film a reality show you have cameras that move around, but fuck man, whoever decided it was a good idea to use the zoom on every other frame needs to be fucking shot! I’m bashing this movie and I hate to do it because I wanted to like it, but most of the “screamer” videos on YouTube are scarier than this. What pisses me off more is that I spent $6.99 to rent this motherfucker on iTunes and the guy literally tells the people watching this “fuck you”, which didn’t sit well with me. Don’t believe the hype about this movie because it’s shit and you’ll hate yourself for watching a watered down version of House on Haunted Hill with ghosts that sound like T-Rex from Jurassic Park.

If you love Ghost Hunters, Paranormal Activity, Cloverfield, or even fucking Blair Witch Project stay far away from this movie.

2/10 FleshEatingZipper

Don't Keep This a
Secret, Share It

  • So…you liked it eh, Sam?

    • Also it had a minor formatting issue with the HDTV (not a huge deal but still….)

      And yeah I loved the movie, there always will be a need to have half assed “Found Film” movies. /end sarcasm

  • Frankalicious

    LOL nice review. Your emotions remind me of how I felt when I paid money to see that piece of shit film called Spiderman III.

  • Nics

    I’m not sure what you were watching or whether you just need lots of blood and gore to be scared, because this is the first movie that has genuinely scared me in years!!! DO believe the hype people, and watch it!!! And that’s from someone who DOES like all the movies (TV show) he mentions at the end of his swearing… sorry, I mean review!

    • Narafed

      Hey there will always be people who like the movie, and that’s fine.

      If you’re into the scary Demon-Face thing by the way, there is an app for that.

      • Narafed

        This movie and That Emily Rose movie used similar graphics, hardly original or scary… maybe I’m just desensitized to that because I’ve seen it on youtube so many times.

  • Zzz

    provides less scares then both combined” 

    do you realize the sentence above makes no sense whatsoever?

    • It makes perfect sense. Here let me break it down for you: Let’s say The Blair Witch Project has only 1 scare in it, House on Haunted Hill has only one scare. 1 + 1 = 2, right? So, if Grave Encounters has only one scare then it “provides less scares then both combined.”