Join N as he watches all eleven Star Trek films end to end in the FleshEatingZipper Star Trek Marathon! He’s going to be liveblogging each film, so all you have to do is play your movie along side his (here’s the schedule) and watch the commentary commence! Be sure to chip in your thoughts in the comments below! The liveblog will update itself automatically, you don’t need to refresh the page!
“…to boldly go, where no one has gone before.” Thanks to everyone who read this thing at any point. This was a massive undertaking and I’m glad you may or may not have liked it! Leave your comments below, follow us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter @FEZhq, and be sure to read more content here, on the greatest website ever.
“I am relieved.” Admiral Christopher Pike
“Do what feels right, Spock!”
Spock meets Spock, yo!
Seeing the ship CRACK under pressure? So awesome!
Okay, so, a drop of red matter is supposed to be enough to wipe out a star. Except now that the Jellyfish is compromised that red matter is everywhere, that would be enough of an explosion/black hole to consume, like, the entire solar system.
Kirk gets the crap beat out of him a lot on this film.
I just got to BlueNazzy’s favorite part of the movie, where Nero says ‘Spock!’ and it sounds like ‘fuck!’
“Welcome, Ambassador Spock!” “Huh, that’s weird…”
The semi-mechanical phasers? Pretty cool!
I’m explaining to Kelly, who just woke up, how the Star Trek timeline works.
Kirk now captain, whaaaaat!
Spock is beating the CRAP out of Kirk. So awesome!
“Come with me, cupcake!”
It is time to emotionally compromise Spock!
Admiral Archer’s prized beagle? As in from Star Trek :Enterprise? Hrm? I don’t know.
Scotty! Another non-Scot playing the Scot!
“Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!”
What would’ve been some clunky exposition in some other film, explaining how Spock got here, comes off as super slick and effective. I love it.
Countdown series again: Spock’s ship, the jellyfish, was designed by Geordi LaForge. That’s right.
The SHODAN-esque voice modulation during the mindmeld is fantastic.
Nero is sure messing up this timeline, surely!
The one true link to the original films. Sam had never seen the original films before, only this one. This film now makes more sense to him.
SPOCK IS HERE! SPOCK IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!
ALIENS THAT LOOK LIKE ALIENS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
The dilithium mines of the penal asteroid of Rura Penthe! “There’s always a bigger fish!”
Kirk and Spock yelling at each other is AWESOME.
So that Countdown series I mentioned earlier? They saw the film and built the story backwards from that, again, integrating a new Data (baed on B4) who is now captain of the Enterprise-E. This explanation is built it. I don’t know what Orci and Kurtzman’s explanation for a lot of this story was without the Countdown series, but, uh, sure.
Spock and Uhura? Sure. Not in the original series, no way that’d happen. Here, sure?
Uhura wants to take advantage of the endangered species.
Spock loses his mom and his home planet quickly.
Spock striking a pose on the teleportation pad. He is obviously weighed down by his emotions, this is something that never becomes visible previously.
It’s amazing how quickly major elements of the plot are revealed.
Back to skydiving, crazy teleportation skills needed!
Red shirt is gone quick out of his own arrogance. There’s a lot of ‘tude here, giving individual officers more choice in their action.. Again, not as uptight.
The replication of hand movements in the special effects shot is awesome, msut’ve taken a lot of copying or tech development. Nonwhere is camera movement this kinetic in any other Trek. I’m glad ILM was able to catch up.
More non-American actors in this film is pretty cool. Simon Pegg, Eric Bana, Karl Urban.
Spock’s ship is thoroughly realized. It’s really amazing.
“Hi Christopher, I’m Nero.”
Enterprise arrives in a huge field of debris, very jarring. I’m just saying this stuff because it totally jars me after seeing the other films. And there’s the Narada.
Kirk is really smart and snappy here.
Kirk trying to resolve the major action of the plot as McCoy is dealing with him is, yeah, it’s awesome. This is so fast. So fast!
Chekov! Anton Yelchin was actually born in the former Soviet Union. Walter Koenig? Born in Chicago. We din’t really get to see Yelchin’s Chekov here.
No slow flight out of space dock here! They’re at Warp Speed super quick! Well, except the Enterprise, because the brakes are on, lawl.
The thing is, if those previous Star Trek films weren’t as conservative as they were, the series wouldn’t have lasted as long as it did, granting Paramount the reasoning to produce this mega-huge reboot. It’s ironic.
I’m still not sold on the “new” Enterprise design, the one that looks like a 50s sci-fi reject? I like that it’s so much larger than previous versions, though.
Spock seems more flexible here.
Star Trek II made it sound like Kirk got an immediate commendation for cheating Kobyashi Maru. Looks like he got a beatdown for it. McCoy likes Spock? Awesome.
This is hilarious. OMG, why were Star Trek films never funny before this. They were for old people, I think.
Major plot points slip right through, about crazy signals and fleets being wiped out. Kobyashi Maru seems like an 8-bit video game compared to Saavik’s version.
Hello again, Nero. Romulans, like Vulcans, live for hundreds of years, so they wait for Spock with an extreme Khan-complex. Also: The special effects are amazing.
Bones’ introduction is awesome. “I may throw up on you.” I love his twang.
More industrial areas as Kirk pulls up on his motorcycle to the shuttle load point, passes off his keys, challenges Pike, slams his head.
Kirk visits the dry docks where they’re building the Enterprise at this moment, on Earth. Previous portrayals were all up in space. So this is a cool twist.
Sam knows every line of this movie. It’s bizarre.
This barfight is kinetic. This would be three fights in any other film spread out over an hour. The humor here is really snappy and modern, something that won’t help in a few years unfortunately.
This new crew is hip. Kirk is hip. Uhura is hip. They’re not up-tight and formal like previous versions.
Uhura in a bar. Not a crazy weird 80s-themed bar from Star Trek III, a real one. A REAL ONE! Jim Kirk is a sleazeball.
The film has a very glossy, stylized look that seems like a new gaming engine. Spock is not satisfied with the grand council’s dissing on his mom. Don’t be messing with Spock’s mom.
Young Spock beats the crap out of a classmate for dissing on his mom. We get a hint of this in previous films, the fact that Amanda is human and Spock is half-human, but not quite like this. J.J. wants to be confrontational.
Here, they speak English, again, slightly upsetting after previous movies were in Vulcan. Same tests as Star Trek IV. That’s cool.
Why is there a huge chasm in Iowa?
Young Kirk drives a stolen car, the thermometer flying upward. This series now firmly grounded in this one. It’s madness, the original movies made no attempt to unite themselves with what we have today, here, right now. It was a siloed universe.
Lots of kinetic handheld camera action here. This film has no patience.
For example: Nero’s ship? Borg-enhanced secret Romulan technology, which allows it to heal itself over time.
The aliens are very alien here, but I guess that’s an advantage of providing a budget that’s 3x larger than the original. I can already feel a breath of fresh air coming over the series watching the Kelvin get pounded.
I was so excited about this movie that I actually went and grabbed the Star Trek: Countdown comic series, something I would normally never do. It provides a ton of, quasi-canon explanation to how this story came about, through some very clever retconing that bridges this film to a period after TNG. We learn about Nero’s background and so forth. Remember, this is an alternate universe where the events of the first ten movies don’t exist.
We’re seeing Nero’s ship emerging from a wormhole, one generated by the collapse of some red matter. On the bridge we have Thor (Chris Hemsworth) before Thor was Thor, playing Kirk’s dad. The scene in which the hull breaches and the woman flies out into silent space… that’s so awesome. Clifton Collins wants the captain of the Kelvin over to his place. Immediately, this movie has varied comic book look. It’s very kinetic here. Everything is industrial here, the ships aren’t grounded by super-curated sets drafted for the ship.
And so we begin, the last stretch of Star Trek madness! This Trek is by an entirely new team. J.J. Abrams directs, Orci and Kurtzman wrote, Giacchino scored. I know Giacchino gets mad props for his score, but honestly, I was pretty disappointed in his score for this film. It didn’t have any Trek-friendly themes, they weren’t very memorable. Also: LENSFLARES EVERYWHERE!
It’s hard to believe it’s been three years since this movie came out. I remember when this reboot was announced and it was slated for a December 2008 release, but then got pushed back out of Star Trek’s usual holiday window into 2009. It’s going to be interesting coming into this film after just departing the originals and see how well the execution matches the ideas brought forth in the original films from 30 years ago.
I’m now 22 hours into the marathon! One last film to go and then we are OUT. Hope you’ve been enjoying them so far, although I’ve been a bit loopy in the past two. Insurrection still sucks, though.