LOL Review – Miley Cyrus’s Magnum Opus

Posted by on August 7, 2012 at 9:05 am

Sometimes life is just, y’know?

It’s tough to be Lola, who is Miley Cyrus, a realistic representation of an American teenager. She’s a powerful feminist and sexually independent, just like Miley Cyrus. It’s tough to have relationships and ‘go with the flow’ when the world is changing and your life is so complicated and boys are all… Well, LOL isn’t about Laughing Out Loud, like you think you’d do to this movie. No, it’s about Living Out Loud, and Miley shows us how life really is.

Right, so, Miley’s (sorry, Lola’s) long-time friend and boyfriend comes back to school with the admission that he’s cheated on her, just one time, with another camp counselor over the summer. Afterward he becomes a complete jerk, but they still hang out at every opportunity because they have the same pool of friends. So then Lola gets with Kyle because Kyle’s being all nice and stuff and treating her right and y’know? So they get together, but awww man, Lola’s mom’s gotta be all up in there. So Demi Moore is all like, “No Lola, you’re being immature,” and “You can’t have any parties or see boys”, and “Let’s spoon at every opportunity,” and “This isn’t weird, right? Is this how mothers and daughters work? Is that how those kind of relationships are?” So, like, anyway, Demi Moore is divorced and is casually seeing her ex-husband, who’s the rugged Thomas Jane, while seeing a beautiful Hispanic man who happens to be a detective who gives her a ride home as she exits the court on a traffic charge. Entrapment, right?

So both of these guys that Lola’s into are pretty boys who couldn’t grow a lick of facial hair to save their lives. But then Kyle and Chad are both in a band together and Lola really likes their music. And everyone texts and chats online and we see all that and it’s, y’know, super realistic? But then Lola finds out Kyle’s been cheating on her and there’s a big misunderstanding, but then they go to Paris and Demi Moore finds out what she did in Paris when she finds her diary!

So basically, the film’s pretty much a mess and you’d have to be like, a really stupid teenager to find the entertainment value in what’s going on here, because it’s so dumb, like stupid even. And even though Miley is super cute and she wears all these tops like she’s trying to leak her boobs out to the world and stuff, Lola’s still kind of a prissy, entitled bitch. You don’t really care about anything on here because it’s all so dumb. So like, skip out on this, yo.

4/10 FleshEatingZipper

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