So, one of my buddies turned me on to this show called “Arrow”. He spewed on for ages about how it was really awesome and told me all about all the ass-kickery and cute chicks and kung-fu and gun fights and explosions…How could I possibly turn that down, right? I mean, the 4 things which make up a perfect show or film are right there…Explosions, gun fights, kung-fu and boobies! Right?
I mean, how could it POSSIBLY suck, with all that going for it?
So I decided to sit down and have a peek at the show to see what’s up; Like I said, how could it possibly suck? And, besides, it’s my job to do this so even if it was going to suck I’d have to buck up and take it like a man, right?
The show focuses on a man by the name of Oliver Queen, a billionaire playboy who was shipwrecked and stuck on an island for 5 years. Apparently while he was on the island, all manner of horrendous shit happened to him and when he finally got off the island, he was PISSED and wanted to beat the brakes off of something. I can’t really say that I blame him because I’d be pissed if *I* had to go 5 years without doing the horizontal mambo with some hot females, too.
But he’s not pissed about THAT, he’s pissed that criminals live in his city.
Maybe there were some slow-moving goats on that island or something?
So anyway, “Ollie” gets back home and we find out that he’s decided to become some kind of super vigilante after his da-da told him that there were bad people in the world, right before blowing his own brains out. When he gets home, he does exactly that…Goes all buck wild and starts wrecking the criminal element present in his town, with a bow and arrow and all kinds of cool high tech gadgets and mad hacking skills.
Now, here’s my issue: Billionaire playboy…Dead parent…vigilante…high tech toys. What is this? The second coming of Batman? Come on, now…Are we really that bored out of our minds?
And where’d he get the mad hacking skills? He’s been on an island for 5 years. Like technology and computer security haven’t changed in that time and he can just pick up a laptop and hack the planet? And then he thinks he can just run around shooting home made arrows into people’s brains and get away with it? Because him being a serial killer is any better? What is this, The Dark Knight and Dexter had an illegitimate love child and this moron popped out?
Look…skip this miserable crap, ok. They’ll cancel Chuck but then they’ll allow some shit like this to hit the airwaves? blah.
And for the friend who “turned me on” to this crap…I’m punching you in the spine.