‘Hardcore Pawn’ Hits 100th Episode, 4 Million Viewers And Is Still Absolutely Stupid

Posted by on April 10, 2013 at 9:27 am
Oh my goooooooooooood...

Oh my goooooooooooood…

People are so stupid. I’m serious. Collectively, and I’m generalizing here, we complain about the sheer amount of garbage on television, but then we tune into programs like Maury, Storage WarsDuck Dynasty (yeah, I went there!) and Hardcore Pawn because they’re “our guilty pleasure”. Ladies and gentlemen, your guilty pleasures are destroying America.

Worse still, these programs, designed for lowest common denominator, are becoming more and more prevalent as once-educational channels like Discovery and History are shedding more and more of their programming to fit in schlocky bullshit like this. Do you see the historical value of Pawn Stars on the History Channel? Wow, let’s dress up a genuine time sponge with some “historical” trades and bumper-based trivia and call it educational! Heck, what about anything on TruTV, formerly Court TV? Do you need to see a bunch of funny surveillance footage with humorous narration over and over again? Even better, let’s do marathons of these shows! You’ll become so unproductive, you may as well be sleeping.

Worse still, some of these shows are entertaining! Once they get the hook in, it’s over! Sure, McDonald’s food isn’t anything most humans should consume, but we do it! Why? Because who would turn that down if offered? These shows are just like that! Hardcore Pawn has an edge all its own, being in a rough area of Detroit where characters (and I say characters, because all of this is soooo scripted) regular start shit with the staff, then the staff starts shit with the staff. It’s also more popular than ever! Ever!

I have to sit down. Hang on. Phew.

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