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Brock Lesnar Retires From UFC Following Yet Another Loss

Posted by on December 31, 2011 at 11:30 am

It was going to happen sooner or later and my bet has always been on sooner. Brock Lesnar’s weakness has been exposed and he has decided to leave the world of mixed martial arts behind, before a real fighter ends up hurting him.

Brock Lesnar, who I like to refer to as the former heavyweight chump of the world, got his ass BEAT last night by Dutch fighter Alistair Overeem in what can only be described as “lol”.

The fight opened with the two fighters squaring off and trading some short jabs and punches, then the former chump tried for a single-leg and failed. The second he realized he wasn’t going to be able to manhandle Overeem, he made peepee in his pants and went on the defensive.

At this point, the Dutch version of an atomic weapons program went to work on Lesnar’s guts, no doubt knowing he’d be a little soft in the bread basket after having a bunch of his colon removed due to a second bout with diverticulitis, which we understand is caused by drinking too much Coors and then getting on top of your wife after a fight.

It wasn’t long before Lesnar started to fade, with knees to his tum-tum and great big Dutch fists taking a heavy toll. Once Overeem saw this, he went in for the kill with a kick to liver which landed with so much force it was as if millions of alcoholics cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Lesnar crumbled to the ground and Overeem did a Morse code clinic on his head before finishing off with a final shot to the body and Mario Yamasaki stepped in to grab Brock’s resignation letter.

I knew Brock wouldn’t last long in MMA from the first time I saw him fight, which was his bout against Heath Herring. It was obvious that Lesnar had no real skill and would rely on his size, weight and strength to scrape by. This was driven home in his first fight against Frank Mir, who weathered the assault from Lesnar and then submitted him with a very elementary knee-bar.

Of course Brock learned not to let that happen again but he never evolved as a fighter…it was always about his strength and weight, with him wanting to use a very primitive form of ground and pound on his opponents and being positively stymied if he missed the takedown.

This one-trick pony situation has ended more than one career. Liddell was shut down when people stopped chasing him. Machida has been shut down by people making him post up in the pocket and using his angles against him. Tito has been shut down by people learning to sprawl and PRIDE legend Mirko “CroCop” Filipovic saw his legacy crumble when people learned to not let him kick them in the head.

So now Brock’s weakness has been exposed. He can’t stand in the ring against anyone who is of similar strength or stature. Put him in with someone he can’t man-handle and he’s about as dangerous as a cute little baby polar bear…Sure you could get knocked out if you slipped and fell on his fist, the same as the bear cub could kill you if you tripped and landed with your jugular on one of its claws, but it’s not likely.

I, for one, am glad this circus sideshow is over. I don’t care what the rasslin’ fans say, those guys are not real fighters – they’re acrobats with muscles and dramatic flair. They don’t have any business being in a real fight and when we put them there it is for no reason other than the spectacle of it all. One may get lucky and beat a washed up old has-been a time or two, giving the illusion that they can fight but sooner or later their lack of training and skill is exposed and they get clowned.

Then they retire and fade off to obscurity. Good riddance, I say.

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