Pepsi – King’s Court – Sell Out Spotlight

Posted by on February 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Do you know how the dark ages ended? Despite the vast conspiracy of high school textbooks that will lead you to believe it was the invention of the printing press, the easier spread of information, or a bunch of Italian artists, the real reason is far more dramatic: it was the toppling of Elton John, a Pepsi-hoarding king. In heels.

At FleshEatingZipper, we want to get you to the content, not pages filled with pop-unders and confusing links that are really ads. To do that, we show love to our sponsors because they keep us up and running. Now I can assure you that in a blind taste test, Pepsi would win ten times out of ten against Coca-Cola if you put me to the task. But even if Pepsi isn’t your thing, chances are they have some particular drink in their galaxy of flavors that will whet your thirst. If you happen to be a fan of X-Factor winner Melanie Amaro’s populist tactics, you too can believe that Pepsi is truly for everyone. As I recall on my last trip to a “grocery store”, the soda aisle was defended by burly men in heavy armor duking it out (they may have also just finished with a LARPing retreat, but details are irrelevant). I had a coupon for a few 12-packs, but I simply could not be bothered with losing a limb that day, so I skipped out. Had I known that a vocal competition would blow them away, or at least humble them, I would’ve just picked up my evening refreshment and be on with it.

Man, I still want some Pepsi. Time to find my chain mail leggings…

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