Let’s be fair, milkshake design hasn’t changed in half a century. Sure, they added more cookies and chocolate and candy and other crap, but the fundamental shake has really only become greasier since the days when our parents weren’t born yet. Why should it, really? Does it need to? Well, Jack in the Box decided to add a flavor to the narrow spectrum of flavors in the pop shake continuum and they chose bacon.
I like bacon. I do not love bacon. It’s fine in addition to a grand breakfast with grits and eggs and orange juice, but by itself, it’s just not enough meat and far too much charred edge. I get why people love it, but a pew in the Church Of The Shredded Pig is not where my heart finds solace. (I love ham, though. Love. Ham.) In fact, the best implementation of bacon is actually in Valentino’s (eastern Nebraska pizza buffet) bacon and pickle pizza. (It is amazing, by the way).
Anyway, the shake. Obviously, it’s had a lot of hype and that’s also fine. People need something different, but the bacon shake is not it. It is a novelty at best and hopefully gone by summer. No one needs a bacon-flavored milkshake. It doesn’t even take like bacon, it takes like Bac-Os. It’s as if you could drizzle this concoction over a mountain of lettuce and croutons and call it a day. That would be disgusting. Way too disgusting, but once you dive into the bacon milkshake and all of the boys have been brought to the yard, you get the same feeling. This syrup-y tasting mess really is pretty disgusting. Why would I buy this again?
Image credit: BrandEating