T-Mobile Can Eat A Dick: New Sidekick Blows

Posted by on March 24, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Dear T-Mobile, it’s not 2000 anymore. Tony Hawk is no longer popular, and Soulja Boy is an idiot. Therefore, despite the popularity of your Sidekick phone series, it makes little sense to the civilized man why the fuck you would continue this outright line of completely stupid phones.

Yes, we think it’s cute that these phones are now Android-based (welcome to 2008, by the way), but a combination of a weird-ass, unimaginative form factors (Because I love the term ‘form factor’. Ladies?) that doesn’t even match the quote-coolness-end quote of the original phone, leads us to believe that your marketing agency and/or T-Mobile employees involved with this hunk of shit have no idea what the fuck a real phone looks like these days. For one thing, you did ditch the imaginative ‘swirl/flip’ thing with the display, but you kept the everything else, instead replacing it with a slider “thing” that looks dumb as shit. Meanwhile, in The Real World, we enjoy phones that have functionality that is indeed actually awesome. We don’t need celebrities or stupid gimmicks, or tricksy form factors (see, there’s that phrase again, ladies!) to sell us some God Damn phones.

Real phones look like the iPhone (which is, in itself a piece of shit, but we’ll play diplomatically for now) or the Galaxy S, or Nexus S, but the Sidekick: is there a reason why this thing exists? No, it’s because we’re not twelve years old anymore. This is why you were bought by AT&T of all people, seriously, AT&T?.

T-Mobile: Get Your Act Together Or No One Will Buy Your Shit.

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