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Steve Jobs Heads to the iCloud in the Sky

Posted by on October 5, 2011 at 6:30 pm

It’s a sad day today as we all learned that Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple and CEO as of a month ago has died.

Apple has released the following statement:

We are deeply saddened to announce that Steve Jobs passed away today.

Steve’s brilliance, passion and energy were the source of countless innovations that enrich and improve all of our lives. The world is immeasurably better because of Steve.

His greatest love was for his wife, Laurene, and his family. Our hearts go out to them and to all who were touched by his extraordinary gifts.

My initial reaction was holy, shit. I mean we all knew it was coming and that is very unfortunate. He started what is not the largest company in the United States and even though it was rocky life for him – getting kicked out of Apple, starting another company, Next, and then rejoining Apple later after they bought the company. He led the start of the MP3 player revolution as well as a phone and tablet revolution carving out the standards in those fields.

Steve Jobs’ family made the following statement:

Steve died peacefully today surrounded by his family.

In his public life, Steve was known as a visionary; in his private life, he cherished his family. We are thankful to the many people who have shared their wishes and prayers during the last year of Steve’s illness; a website will be provided for those who wish to offer tributes and memories.

We are grateful for the support and kindness of those who share our feelings for Steve. We know many of you will mourn with us, and we ask that you respect our privacy during our time of grief.

We can fully expect Steve Jobs to take over for God in six months. In a year, iHeaven will release. You can obtain salvation for 50% more than you’d pay for it elsewhere. All Heaven and Hell manufacturing will be outsourced to China. Also don’t expect to get into Heaven unless you’re using iTunes. Zune and Spotify users, straight to Hell with the rest of the PC using swine.

The Pearly Gates will be renamed the Pearly Entrance to remove any Microsoft reference.

All joking aside we are truly sad by his passing and our sincere condolences go out to his family. If you would like to share your thoughts, memories and condolences Apple has set up a special email, rememberingsteve@apple.com.

Steve you didn’t just change the tech world, you flipped that bitch over and shook it up! RIP.

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