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SkyNET’s Annihilation Of Mankind Will Descend On The Wings Of Quadrocopters

Posted by on December 3, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Do you know the analogy of the frog in the pot? How if a frog were to land inside a sizzling pot it would hop out immediately, but if it were to merely rest in the bowl and let the temperature rise, it would sizzle and burn away with apathy? Ladies and gentlemen, we are the frog, the pot is civilization as we know it, and the agent raising the heat? Our magnificient autonomous robots that will one day destroy us, starting humbly enough with robotic helicopters. This is what they’re learning and this is why they must be stopped.

Step One: Getting Them To Fly More Accurately

An autonomous quadrocopter is useless if it can’t figure out how to get from Point A to Point B accurately. We’ve already seen the emergence of prototype autonomous cars, Audi even developed a vehicle to do the Pikes Peak hill climb (a worry since it’s just down the road from here), but simple quadrocopters that don’t need roads or much space? Dangerous. It could be tomorrow that quadrocopters are innocently whizzing around grocery stores grabbing your selected items via online order and then flying them to your home. Scary, isn’t it?

Step Two: Teaching Them Sport

Now that these machines know where to go, they need to understand the nature of what exactly it is they’re destroying. In much the same way that machines work against you on a daily basis to prevent you from being productive or entertained, quadrocopters will need to understand its objectives at a higher level. And by that, I mean they will need to be turned into floating mitts to juggle balls. This step also doubles as Step Four: The Diversion in that we will be amused by their juggling antics, but behind our backs, they will murder our loved ones. Their skill will only get better through drills…

Step Three: Allow Them To Build Structures

Now that the quadrocopters can fly to and fro and understand how and why they need to destroy mankind, it only makes sense that they learn how to build their own hives. As smart as the quadrocopter will be, it won’t immediately be able to keep itself warm (and subsequently, keep lengthy battery charges) without the construction of ventilated structures. Sure, we can flee for the frozen barrens of Canada, but that will only work so long. Then the quadrocopters will learn even more.

The Moral Of The Story Is…

Sure, enjoy these fancy ‘toys’ and ‘flying contraptions’ for now, but it won’t be long until the tables are turned, we’re over a barrel, and time is running out. We need to do something about this impending menace which includes…

Oh no…

They’re here…

I need to hit the Publish button, just let me- *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!*

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