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Ok, Yeah, So…We’re Pretty Much All Dead.

Posted by on August 1, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Yep…we’re all screwed.

I’ve come upon the knowledge that a Japanese company called Suidobashi Heavy Industries is going to kill all of us with giant robots. That isn’t to say that they are going to do the killing directly but they are making the robots, which are available for purchase by the public, and the robots are going to end up doing the murders.

Before you laugh or spend any time at all thinking I’m making a funny, I’m not joking. This company is building 12 foot tall, 10 foot wide, 10,000 pound robots which you can ride in and have custom built, equipped with Gatling cannons and rocket launchers.

Who thought THAT was a good idea?

So, I have a couple of videos here which were made by the manufacturer, then a third which was made by me as I’m customizing my robot for order.

Again, I want to stress to you that this isn’t something I’m making up or hallucinating. I have not even had a single beer today.

Check out the videos.

Seriously?! Did you see the size of that damned thing? It was chasing a CAR! I’m sorry folks but all is NOT right with the world right now. When people start unleashing 12 foot tall killer robots on the planet, that’s an indication that something has gone terribly askew.

Oh, sure, the water powered rockets won’t hurt anyone and the Gatling cannons only fire BB’s…FOR NOW; Until some psycho replaces them with shaped-charge warheads and armor piercing bullets. And how seriously creepy is it that the guns fire when you smile. It’s like the system won’t let you kill a hundred people unless you’re cackling with glee while you do so. At least this will ensure that only people who are absolutely shit-house will be able to go on murder sprees in their robot…No depressed or sad people, here!

And here’s the video of me building the custom robot. Notice that there’s a bullet-proof shield option and the cockpit has options for leather seats and a drink holder, which I suppose makes sense. If you’re going to go off on a killing rampage inside a 12 foot tall robot, you want to make sure you’re safe and comfy while doing it, right? They’ll help keep you smiling so those guns never stop mowing down civilians!

Jesus, what’s coming next? Let’s hope some idiot doesn’t decide to build an automation system for one of these things!

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