It’s that time of year again where friends and families join to celebrate the old Red, White, and Blue by watching fireworks, BBQing, and quoting just about every line from Team America: World Police. I’m not sure what gets old faster, a 30 minute firework show, that one annoying neighbor who continues to talk to you even though your body language is screaming “get away”, or that guy yelling, “America, Fuck Yeah!” while chugging a Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
Nevertheless, stay safe out there and remember: the founding fathers of this great nation fought for our freedom to celebrate this and any day however retarded it might just be. The preservation of the sacred fire of liberty and the destiny of the republican model of government are justly considered… deeply…finally…and…who am I kidding? AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!