What does E-Harmony, Adult Friend Finder and Disney’s new social network for parents with children have in common? I’d like to introduce you all to Harmonyville! It’s the new wave of social network dating for adults and is taking the web by storm.
Let me take a couple of steps back and say that, no, none of that is true. If you listened to this past week’s Tech & Stuff podcast, then you know exactly how this idea came about. What was once a tasteless joke about a “parent only” chat on Togetherville has now become a warped interpretation thanks to yours truly.
Now turn off your common sense and think of the possibilities if all three were integrated. We have E-Harmony, a complex dating site based on scientific personality matching. There’s Togetherville, a service for parents to watch their children while interacting with their friends on a controlled social network. Last but not least, Adult Friend Finder, the world’s largest community for scraping the bottom of the socially acceptable dating barrel. By combining the three together, a new dating scene beyond epic porportions is born.
There’s an abundance of single parents out there. And let’s be honest, they should be more focused on parenting than dating. As much as I agree with that statement, for humor and possible monetary purposes, I’m willing to over look that. With Harmonyville, parents can socialize with other parents while their children draw, interact with friends and play games. Sound familiar? It should because it happens all the time at playgrounds and parks. The only difference here is that you have the chance to score with their respective parent. Heck, you already have something in common.
Don’t worry, they’re all responsible parents.
How does Harmonyville work? It begins with personality matching. Harmonyville will find other parents and children and suggest play dates through a unique 29 dimension compatibility questionnaire. The service searches for the nearest compatible single parent using your zip code and shows the results on a map. After you pick a potential match, Harmonyville finds a park equal distance from each member. Once the date is set, you can choose from any Disney character to babysit your child. Dr. Neil Clark from E-Harmony will also join the whole gang to keep a look out while you do illegal things inside the public restroom aka the “Goofy Room”.
He’ll distract children for hours, so you’re good to go.
After the deed is finished, paying for the service is quick and simple. Place the payment, preferably cash, next to a see-saw (any see-saw will suffice). Dr. Neil will pick up the fund and say, “Well, that certainly was a walk in the park.”, concluding the appointment. Each party will need to leave separately, one minute a part. If you don’t have enough money at that time, don’t worry. They’ll take your child for collateral.
So you see the potential at the kind of services all three social websites could provide if combined. Disney’s cooperation would be rather difficult to gain but that won’t stop the company from using their character’s likeliness. By the time the lawsuits start rolling in, board members of Disney will most likely have used the service creating a safe haven of single parent sexing. So what are you waiting for? Make this idea a reality and donate your money to something useful.