This week, the FleshEatingZipper staff writes about their crushes from the Bill Clinton, Arsenio Hall, and Gangster’s Paradise-esque 1990′s!
While most male teenagers were attracted to pop stars, actresses, and other real people, I was busy crushing on the gym leader of Cerulean City: Misty from Pokémon. That’s right, I was infatuated with a cartoon character. And I’m not ashamed.
The year was 1996, and Pokémon was only beginning to take over the world gearing all of its marketing power to the 8-13 age demographic. Naturally like any 11 year old, I wanted the game and to call on a pocket monster of my own. After much begging and pleading, I finally got a Gameboy and Pokémon Blue for my 12th birthday. As soon as I got to Cerulean City and saw her pixelated sprite in that 1 inch screen, I was enamored. A girl gym leader? Hello, marry me! The infatuation would have ended there until the cartoon made its big debut. I’m not ashamed.
The television show made the crush that much harder to live with. I blame the animators and voice actor for creating such an irresistibly cute character. Looking back, I’m not really sure what I saw in her — I mean, Misty is quite the red-headed stubborn bitch. But regardless of that, she had her moments — specifically a romantic streak that apparently spoke to my me enough to like her. At times I would become upset at Ash yelling, “What are you doing?! Why are you pushing her away like that!? I hate you, Ash Ketchum!”
Now as an adult, I find that people like to cosplay as Misty. This brings about mixed emotions for me because even though there are some who look amazing:
The most popular picture of Misty on the interwebs.
Yep, same girl.
They can also look like this:
Gross, right? About 50% of all Misty cosplay end in disaster.
Let’s be honest, there aren’t a lot of attractive red headed females. Realistically speaking, Misty would probably end up looking like the Snorlax in drag. And for that, I am ashamed.