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Ten Gifts Not to Get Your Non-Geeky Spouse

Posted by on December 21, 2011 at 9:30 am

As Christmas is around the corner, I thought it only appropriate to do a list for those who do not have geeky spouses on what not to get them for Christmas. So ladies and gentlemen if you considered some of these thing for your spouse, I suggest you just get them a gift card.

Skyrim or Knights of the Old Republic.
I couldn’t decide what was worse for someone who doesn’t play games. Keep in mind that just because you can spend countless hours playing either one of these doesn’t mean your spouse will. They would probably prefer if you didn’t even buy yourself a copy, but that is a battle for another day, perhaps even another year.

The Blu-ray complete set of Star Wars.
Just because you can spend countless hours watching these movies over and over, doesn’t mean your spouse will enjoy his/her own copy. Unlike you, they don’t have all the best lines memorized and I doubt they’ll know that Han shot first.

The complete collection of the Original Star Trek
Again, just because you’ve spent countless hours with this show doesn’t mean they wants to sit there and watch them all. You enjoy the cheesiness of the zippers in the costumes being visible, the strings on the Enterprise and the William Shatner ‘speak’, they on the other hand finds it annoying.

A cardboard cut out of Mel from Firefly, or Jane, or really any cardboard cut out.
They won’t care what a space cowboy is, or why you bought them a cardboard cutout. You may think it’s cool while they think it’s creepy and a waist of money.

Any console paired with Modern Warfare 3.
Think about this one, they probably don’t want to spend their time playing this. Even if you pitch it as “Honey, we can play together.” Chances are, this isn’t going to fly.

Points or and Xbox live subscription.
Chances are they don’t even know what to do with these kind of cards. What would one purchase with virtual points? Even if they play the console that you bought said points for, it’s probably very minimal.

LARPing gear.
If you run around with foam swords, fake armor, and ‘fireballs’ that’s great, but don’t drag your spouse into your fantasy world. They most likely tell people that you are at a bar, watching the game, grocery shopping, visiting parents, or anything other than LARPing when asked. Try as you might, buying (or making) them LARPing gear for Christmas isn’t going to make them come out and play.

A bag of Dragon Dice
Just no, from working in a game store I know dice can be used as a mating gift among geeks. You do not want to give your spouse a bag of dice for Christmas, especially if they roll their eyes every time you mention D&D. They won’t care what dice it comes with.

Comic books
Many of us spent hours of our childhood reading and collecting comics, nowadays even popular TV shows and novels have comic book adaptions. Still doesn’t mean that your spouse will enjoy them. They may look at them and think that they are childish, or just give you that look that says ‘really? This is my gift?’

Magic the Gathering cards, or any collectible card game.
No matter how much you want, how many you buy, they won’t play with you. There is no convincing them to learn the rules or a way to persuade them to collect the cards.

When it comes to giving to your non-geeky spouse, honestly stick with the list he/she gave you, or like I said before, just give them a gift card. Not one to a game store either.

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