I have a problem. I can’t seem to find a scary movie that’s worth watching, these days.
Sure, we have the Paranormal Activity series but those movies suck. Then we have all of the the various zombie movies and some of those are good but I’ve seen all the ones that are good…and most of the ones that really suck.
What am I supposed to do, damnit?!
So here’s the root of my problem. I need to be frightened. I need something to give me the heebie jeebies in a really bad way but there hasn’t been anything for years that’s been able to do that. I’d go so far as to say that the last movie that caused me even the least bit of shifting in my seat was Aliens and that one wasn’t even supposed to be scary. So what the hell is going on?
I remember when I was growing up, we had TONS of scary movies. We had the Friday the 13th franchise, the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, * of the Dead, The Exorcist, The Amityville Horror, about a thousand Stephen King movies which were guaranteed to make you piss yourself and the king of all scary movies ever: Poltergeist.
Yeah, Poltergeist. I STILL get stupid when I see static on a TV. GOD DAMNIT that movie scared the shit out of me!
So where have all the scary movies gone?! Why has it been like 20 years since a movie was able to make me squirm?
Now here is your mission, should you choose to accept it : I need a scary movie. I NEED to have the bejeezus scared out of me. I absolutely have to not be able to sleep for a couple of days and I’m asking YOU guys to give me a hand and suggest some good, recent scary movies for me to get freaked out over.
And if anyone can get me to the point of scared with their selection, I can probably even convince Nick to give up some of those free redbox rental codes we have.
The gauntlet has been thrown down. WHAT SAY YOU?!