Angry Birds Star Wars (iOS) Review: Full Of Pork

Posted by on January 7, 2013 at 2:45 pm
Worst cross over ever? Probably.

Worst cross over ever? Probably

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I was appointed to review Angry Birds Star Wars. And since then, I’ve been delaying this article for as long as I possibly could. It’s one thing to review a sequel that introduces new, improved game mechanics and an original story. It’s another thing to review a carbon copy with superficial changes that ruins an already over milked franchise.

By now you’ve seen the Angry Birds property invade your local super markets, Targets, and other favorite consuming stations. From lunch boxes to feminine products (just wait, it’ll happen), Rovio leaves no shelves untouched. That essentially goes for every app store available as well. We’ve got so many choices to play from – Angry Birds, AB Seasons, AB Rio, AB Space, AB Magic, and finally AB Star Wars.

Other than the bastardizing of John William’s score, AB Star Wars takes the characters we’ve grown to love over the years and retards them into poorly drawn birds. Yes, angry birds. There’s just no dignity left for Star Wars anymore. And you know what, we haven’t seen the de-flowering Disney is about to partake in.

Angry Birds Star Wars is totally worth the $3, said no one ever.

Angry Birds Star Wars is totally worth the $3, said no one ever.

Respect for the franchise was incinerated years ago. Playing this game only made me realize just how bad it has become. It’s no longer special. It’s been plucked, milked and exploited to the point that watching the films brings back memories of playing Lego Star Wars.

Now, the game works. It’s engaging, addicting and dare I say it; fun. I mean, there’s a reason why it’s so highly rated. Not to mention people will buy anything with “Star Wars” plastered over it. So, go ahead and buy it. You can’t make the franchise any worse.


5/10 FleshEatingZipper

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