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Homeland Security Isn’t Monitoring Us…Yet

Posted by on January 13, 2012 at 9:49 am

No one seems to know (or care) why Homeland Security is operating a program to monitor popular social media, bogs and multimedia web sites. However, on Wednesday afternoon, Reuters revealed a list of the monitored sites. And wouldn’t you know it, they completely forgot to put FleshEatingZipper in that list! I don’t know about you but I’m rather hurt not being mentioned! Sure, we aren’t the largest or most official news source but we touch each subject where it hurts the most — the truth. So, how can you help FleshEatingZipper get on the world’s most popular list? Check out after the break!

In order for Homeland Security to acknowledge us, one must have access to social media. So before you continue, “like”, tweet and or reddit this article to get the ball rolling. If you complied, great! If you didn’t, you’re taking life too seriously. Next we need “blogs that cover bird flu … news and activity along U.S. borders … drug trafficking and cybercrime”. Since I’m too lazy to write an individual blog about these events, I’ll just give an incredibly unreliable, and illegitimate update on all three.

U.S. border alert: Code brown

Bird flu alert: Code red breasted finch

Drug trafficking and cybercrime update: Code I’m-totally-not-downloading-the-entire-second-season-of-Chuck-from-demonoid-illegally, magenta.

Well. That pretty much covers that. Now to find some multimedia to spark attention.

A Russian talking about guns? No, we need more.

 

I’m still not feeling it –even after a dead terrorist golden shower party.

 

Hello, Homeland Security.

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