When was the last time a funeral service stopped you from walking into a store? The answer is probably never — unless you went to an Apple Store today. A private service for Steve Jobs was held this morning at the campus in Cupertino and all Apple Stores closed for 3 hours in honor. What about honoring the consumer, post mortum Steve Jobs? Just because you died, doesn’t mean everyone else has to suffer!
Ok, I feel awful. I feel awful I had to walk around a mall during the day to kill time. I feel awful I had to associate myself with those old men who just sit at a table waiting to die in the food court. I feel awful that Express for Men didn’t have any pant sizes for me. Unbelievable. This experience was worse than any funeral, let alone Steve’s. Why am I so bitter? All I needed was a cord. A simple cord for my simple iPad. That’s it. If I were to receive a nickel every time someone came up to ask “What are you waiting for?” or “Is this because the new OS was released?”, I’d be able to afford another iPad and perhaps a plot next to Steve Jobs in Palo Alto. It really bothered me when people walked by, giving a confusing yet judgmental look. I tried so hard to distinguish myself from the rest of the iGeeks that when someone asked if this was the line for the Apple Store, I’d quickly cut them off with “I’m here for a cord.”
Not only did I have to kill 35 minutes, stand in line, and smell the guys B.O. in front of me, but the worst part of it all is that I didn’t even need to wait in the line. Twenty minutes after reluctantly joining the sheep, a “genius” snarkingly told everyone that the line was only for the 4S. I almost lost it. Once inside, it was near impossible to find an associate to fetch me a VGA cord — the only cord they don’t keep on the sales floor. Perfect.
I get it. The stores want to show their respect. How about putting up a piece of artwork of Steve instead of forcing me into a cattle call? Just because another private memorial service was held on the Apple Campus in Cupertino, doesn’t mean you have to follow along. He’s dead. Let’s stop having a memorial every week and move on.