Steve Jobs Funeral: An Inconvenience To Consumers

Posted by on October 19, 2011 at 2:58 pm

When was the last time a funeral service stopped you from walking into a store? The answer is probably never — unless you went to an Apple Store today. A private service for Steve Jobs was held this morning at the campus in Cupertino and all Apple Stores closed for 3 hours in honor. What about honoring the consumer, post mortum Steve Jobs? Just because you died, doesn’t mean everyone else has to suffer!

Ok, I feel awful. I feel awful I had to walk around a mall during the day to kill time. I feel awful I had to associate myself with those old men who just sit at a table waiting to die in the food court. I feel awful that Express for Men didn’t have any pant sizes for me. Unbelievable. This experience was worse than any funeral, let alone Steve’s. Why am I so bitter? All I needed was a cord. A simple cord for my simple iPad. That’s it. If I were to receive a nickel every time someone came up to ask “What are you waiting for?” or “Is this because the new OS was released?”, I’d be able to afford another iPad and perhaps a plot next to Steve Jobs in Palo Alto. It really bothered me when people walked by, giving a confusing yet judgmental look. I tried so hard to distinguish myself from the rest of the iGeeks that when someone asked if this was the line for the Apple Store, I’d quickly cut them off with “I’m here for a cord.”

Not only did I have to kill 35 minutes, stand in line, and smell the guys B.O. in front of me, but the worst part of it all is that I didn’t even need to wait in the line. Twenty minutes after reluctantly joining the sheep, a “genius” snarkingly told everyone that the line was only for the 4S. I almost lost it. Once inside, it was near impossible to find an associate to fetch me a VGA cord — the only cord they don’t keep on the sales floor. Perfect.

I get it. The stores want to show their respect. How about putting up a piece of artwork of Steve instead of forcing me into a cattle call? Just because another private memorial service was held on the Apple Campus in Cupertino, doesn’t mean you have to follow along. He’s dead. Let’s stop having a memorial every week and move on.

Don't Keep This a
Secret, Share It

  • ILikeAppleandHateYou

    You are suck a jerk!

  • John

    I agree with the other post, but must add, you are an asshole!

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, gee whiz Keith, you’re like the king of Douche D:

  • NA

    spoken like a person who never created anything worth salt and has no respect for anyone. 

    • Anonymous

      Exactly, Keith!

  • wow…things just got super cereal up in here.  Even *I* have never gotten this much hate from an article I’ve written, and I’m a prick.

    By the way, Keith, you’re an asshole.  And that’s coming from someone who knows an asshole when he sees one!  lawlz!

  • Ben

    Could have gone to target, a grocery store, best buy, anywhere and bought that cord. You are like a guy who stands on a stopped escalator and waits for it to be repaired instead of walking down. “Serve me! I refuse to move until I am served!”

  • JJ

    jerkoff.. you can die now and nobody gives.

  • Michaelscottdoyle

    Jesus Christ, man. Get off yourself already. Could have got the cord anywhere, as aforementioned, and you have contempt for everything that breathes? The old men waiting to die in the food court? They’re just as upset that they had to endure your presence.

    Yes, Steve Jobs is dead. And he is the reason you have anything to plug that cord into. It wasn’t our demand that created Apple. Jobs changed the tech scene more than you could possibly imagine. If not for all of Apple’s innovations would the others have ever come up with any of the tools we use today?

    A couple hours man. A couple hours you didn’t have to wait. Get a grip.

  • @ss


  • Daniel

    Wow, grow up. You’re not that important.

  • Anonymous

    Aww, I’ve got fans! I love you all too!

  • Lordofthesales

    class A douchebag

  • Stuart A Morgan

    What a terrible thing to say, you need to be ashamed of yourself. yes life is for the living, however death is retrospective and every passing life should be respected by those who have been touched by an individual. those apple shops/stores would not be there at all if it wasn’t for steve jobs, nor would the devise you needed to buy a cable for, the cable would not exist, the people you state waiting to die, may have fought in wars and experienced terrible things so that you could have your freedom today. as a person who is so self satisfied and clearly a greedy (i need it now, type of person) i assume that you probably don’t have many people in your life friends or family. 

    Try to respect the dead, and the living no matter how old they are as you never know what they have done for YOU, even though it looks like you have done little or nothing for anyone else in your life (your self inflated post is a giveaway) please try and grow up soon, and you would probably do well to maybe interact with other people more often to help lose that sence of self importance. 

  • Meljohnston84

    wow, you have to be the saddest, most miserable human being in the world. I can’t even believe you are telling Steve Jobs to fix it, in his grave. You are a huge loser. Get a fucking life!

  • Harksmail

    you are an asshole

  • Diana

    1) You could have set up an appointment for the apple store at: and upon setting that up you would have noticed that they were not going to be available during that 3 hour time period. 
    2) You could have purchased the cord elsewhere, as has previously been stated. 
    Apple did what they could to let customers know that they were going to be closed. The company has a right to close down for 3 hours if they choose to, and I actually greatly respect their decision. Apple doing things in a different way than other companies is the BEAUTY of the company…not something to be mocked or scorned by the likes of you. 

  • Picklator

    Well, fuck you for disrespecting Steve Jobs and his company. You sir, suck balls.

  • Margot Bradley

    You give a new meaning to the term “self centered”.  Is it really all about how you are not getting serviced – even when all you need is a VGA cable that you can get just about anywhere? 

    Baby – you really need to THINK DIFFERENT!!  If it wasn’t for the genius of Steve Jobs, you wouldn’t even have the privilege of standing in that line, much less complaining about it.

    Be grateful that you are still on this earth and have a voice.  He is not as blessed.

  • Sam

    I agree with every comment being said here…. You sir are a heartless prick… Not worthy to use the devices that Steve Jobs has helped create you are an ungrateful prick… How about this go donate that simple iPad…. Return that VGA cord which really isn’t a cord it’s a VGA adapter back to the apple store…. And go buy an Android Tablet….

  • Me

    you must eat smegma for breakfast what a useless douche

  • Josh

    I agree with you 100% Keith, Why should Steve Jobs funeral keep us from going on with our lives. Really, who really gives a shit.