The Nokia Lumia 900 Review – Drool Worthy

Posted by on April 9, 2012 at 12:56 pm

By now, I’m sure we’ve all read Josh’s wonderful review of the Lumia 900 from The Verge. No one seems to be content with the end result. Does this phone really deserve a mediocre score? Well, we here at FleshEatingZipper respect The Verge’s heavily biased anti-everything-that’s-not-Apple-or-Android opinion. Want a review from someone who is actually going to use this phone for the next 2 years instead of 15 minutes? You’ve come to the right place.


This smart phone is pure sex. The curves, the size, the sharp angular features, and the (cyan) color gives this phone so much tech-sex appeal, you won’t be able to keep your hands off of it.


What attracted others and me about the Lumia 900 was it’s jaw-dropping price point. For only $99, you can reunite yourself with the legend of cellular phones in 4G. If you don’t want to sign 2 years of your life away, the Lumia will cost you somewhere in the mid-400 bones — which is still cheap considering it’s labeled as a flagship phone.


WP7 is a breath of fresh air compared to Android and iOS. It’s like moving from the smog-filled downtown LA to the rolling hills of New Zealand. Executing tasks have never been this simple. I’m left staring at my phone with extra minutes to spare. How is this possible when the Lumia doesn’t contain 4 snapdragon processors or a flux capacitor? Honestly, I wouldn’t have known nor cared. Having that many processors in a phone is just stupid and a waste of battery. What, are you going to edit film on a 4.7″ screened device instead of using a computer? No, no you’re not. So zip your lips and go back to your “drawing” in Draw Something.


It pretty much speaks for itself. It’s big, bright, colorful, beautiful and sharp. Don’t get me wrong, this is no retina screen but I’d rather have a screen that I can clearly see during the day without squinting.

Ecosystem, lol

I don’t have an issue with the amount of apps available. How often do you use every app stored onto your iPhone or Android device? What I really like about the Windows Marketplace is for every app that’s not available, there’s usually an alternative. Let’s take a gander at Pandora. Wait, we can’t. But look, there’s a third party app! Problem solved. My only issue is the amount of cr-apps that have seem to have taken over the marketplace. Get rid of that junk MS, and the Marketplace will be solid.


The camera is not going to take Canon Rebel T2i-esque pictures. If there’s any smart phone camera I would compare it to, I’d pick the iPhone 4s’s. You’ve seen the picture samples from other reviewers, I won’t bore you with mine.

The Test

One thing that Josh or other reviewers might not have, is a real job. What better way to test the phone than to use it like every other person? I unplugged the Lumia around 5:45 AM. Through out the day, I’d periodically check what’s new under the people tile, read and send e-mail, send Kik messages, talk for 20 minutes (call quality is great), browse Reddit and troll Facebook. By the end of my shift, around 3PM, my battery was at 35%. I ended up having to plug it back in around 8PM. Not too shabby for an LTE phone, but I was expecting a little more juice from it.


Needless to say, this is my next phone. Well, it is until a “Apollo” aka Windows Phone 8 is released. That’s when the real meat and potatoes of Windows Phone will shine it’s delicious gravy into my eyes. Yum. But for now, the Lumia 900 is a worthy opponent in a world full of boring phone’s and their operating systems.

8/10 FleshEatingZipper

Don't Keep This a
Secret, Share It