Windows Phone Users, Get Ready For Instagram

Posted by on September 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Pro tip – smiling like a duck is attractive.

The Verge has confirmed that the popular photo sharing app Instagram will be adding itself to the Windows Phone Marketplace in the not too distant future. Do Windows Phone users know how to use Instragram? Fret not, we’re taking it back to one! (that’s film lingo for the beginning)

There was a time when I owned an iPhone 4 and actually used Instagram on a regular basis. Now before you go all hipster-hatin’ on me, I totally used Instagram before it was cool. With that said, I consider myself to be an instagram connoisseur. For those three individuals who are unfamiliar with Instagram, just know it’s too cool for you. And if you per chance add insta-filters to your pics, then the app is no longer cool. Ok, I don’t know where this rant came from but I’m quite amused by it. Anyways. For those who, like me, switched to a Lumia 900 and expected to find Instagram but were sorely dissapointed – we’re going to need a refresher.

Back to Basics

Forget everything you learned about taking pictures from your Windows device. Remember those shitty angles you used with Instagram? Warm up by titling your device left and right then right to left, just to revive the feeling of inadequacy.

Low light, shmow light. You don’t need correct lighting because you have filters to brighten everything up for you. Now you can worry about the important things in life, like making sure the barista made your pumpkin spiced frappacinno with soy milk – NOT with regular milk.

Can’t think of anything to take a picture of? Stop thinking. Look down and take a snap shot of that half eaten cheeseburger. Slap on the Amaro filter and share it with all of your friends because, because. That’s right. You don’t need a explanation of your picture. That’s what art is and if anyone questions it, take a sip from your pumpkin spide frappacinno (with soy milk) and state that your B.A. in creative writing disagrees.

Here’s an example of what I consider ART taken by yours truly two years ago. Notice the close up angle. Notice the lens flare that appears to make the yellow egg glow. And the border. The border is what completes the entire photo. It surely looks as if I had taken a picture with my grandpa’s camera and implemented it into a slide. Classic talentless beauty.

Source – The Verge

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