Lots of things happened at GDC this year. Developers and publishers got in front of tons of other developers, publishers along with twelve tons of journalists and spoke about the projects they’ve been working on, their previous work and new technical challenges they’ve faced.
Then, James Ohlen, Creative Director for BioWare, got up in front of everyone and proceeded to suck at sucking.
Now, when I say he proceeded to suck at sucking, what I mean is that he didn’t even have the courtesy to get up there and tell the truth about why their premier MMORPG, Star Wars: The Old Republic, was a complete flop. Sure, he admitted that it was a flop, but the best excuse that he could come up with was “it was our first MMO”.
Guess what, moron? World of Warcraft was Blizzard’s first MMO and look how it did. Ultima Online was Origin’s first MMO and it’s still up and running with a paid subscription model after nearly two decades. It was the first MMORPG ever for crying out loud! Your excuse about not having any experience with this is hogwash.
Mr. Ohlen claims that all of the problems stemmed from the fact that Bioware had expected it to take players four to five months to get to the level cap.
We had expected our playerbase to play through the game and get to the endgame, on average, in about three to four months, maybe five months. It was 170-180 hours of content.
Wait, 170 to 180 hours of content? Don’t you idiots know about hardcore gamers?! If you put 170 – 180 hours of content out there, a mentionable percentage of your customers are going to complete that content within 180 – 190 hours of buying the game. These people don’t sleep! They’re fueled by energy shots and nerd rage!
If anyone at Bioware was an actual gamer, they would know this and they would know that the combination of energy shots and nerd rage is actually the answer to the cold fusion problem. I love this part…
But our metrics were showing us that, on average, for the millions of people playing our game, they were going through the game at a rate of 40 hours a week.
Yeah, no shit Sherlock, and that’s the average. That doesn’t count the guys who are playing 32 hours a day.
Here’s the part where I get a little indignant – parental advisory, harsh language ahead.
What in the fuck were you people at Bioware thinking? Don’t try to blame this shit on your lack of experience and knowledge because you idiots were told during beta that people were blowing through the content at breakneck speed. You people were told during beta that your customers were going to be playing the game constantly after launch and if you had half the sense god gave a cracked port-a-port seat, you would’ve checked your metrics during beta and said, “well, shit, these guys are just ripping through our content like a fat kid in a pastry store, maybe we should delay the launch a bit and make sure we have an endgame before we release this thing.”
Also, if you had three brain cells between the lot of you, you would figured out and fixed the Ilum FPS bug before release.
Also, if you weren’t hopelessly stupid, you would have sorted out the bags/tokens/PVP gear thing.
Also, if you weren’t a bunch of fucking clowns, you would have balanced and bug-fixed the warzones, made customizeable PVP gear, sorted out the mission system, added more flashpoints and operations, put in guild capital ships, balanced the classes (at least a little bit), added more variety to the factions and generally un-fucked yourselves before the combined asshattery of you and EA led to Ray Muzyka and Greg Zeschuk being laughed clean out of the industry.
Never blame your customers, Bioware. It’s not their fault you’re stupid, it’s yours. The players never should have even entered the discussion. Never make excuses, just provide solutions.
Source: PC Gamer