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The Problem With Kickstarters And Why It Is Pissing Me Off

Posted by on March 14, 2013 at 11:54 pm
GIMME DA CAAAASSSSSH!

GIMME DA CAAAASSSSSH!

All right guys, this Kickstarter shit is getting completely out of hand. I can understand the campaigns for things that would be hard to fund, like the upcoming space-sim Star Citizen/Squadron 42. That would have been difficult because when you accept publisher support, you have to do things on their timeline and Chris Roberts seems unwilling to release a game before it’s done. That’s why most games suck so hard these days.

What I can’t understand is why people are going out and starting Kickstarters for absolutely ridiculous shit.

First, there was the Veronica Mars Kickstarter which fired off yesterday. You didn’t need crowdfunding, you assholes! Something like that could have been walked into a studio and been funded with no hesitation. The sheer number of teenage girls who would’ve come to see the flick guarantees studio support. Rather than do that, though, these assholes got a Kickstarter to get the public to pay for their movie.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I get an email today from some schlub who is trying to Kickstart real estate deals. WTF?!

Here’s an excerpt. Note that I have removed the company name and information because I don’t want to help this putz.

My name is [blahblah], co-founder/CMO of [blahblah], a recent grad of the Microsoft/Tech Stars Accelerator in Seattle, a Los Angeles Founder Institute grad, and the 1st place winner at the HATCH pitch competition at SXSW.

As if that wasn’t bloated enough, he goes on to tell me why he’s emailing:

I saw your article at http://www.flesheatingzipper.com/gaming/2012/07/shadowrun-online-launches-on-kickstarter/ where you mention kickstarter and thought you might be interested in covering our story. I am free to do an interview if it’s of interest.

Yeah, we mentioned a Kickstarter… for a video game, genius. A Kickstarter from eight months ago, as if we haven’t been covering the things since. I wouldn’t interview you if you were the second to last breathing human on the planet.

Here’s where it gets really stupid:

[blahblah] is a marketplace for accredited investors to pool money online and buy shares of pre-vetted investment properties like office buildings, apartment buildings and retail centers; we’re crowdfunding for real estate with a focus on accredited investors.

[blahblah] is currently in private beta and we have over 1,000 real estate investors in our network. We also have our first success story – [blahblah], a real estate investment company in Los Angeles, raised $110,000 using [blahblah]’s revolutionary platform for real estate fundraising. The money was raised while [blahblah] was in private beta and is being used to purchase and rehabilitate a property in Los Angeles, CA. [blahblah] is paying 10% to investors on an annual basis.

So wait, you’re doing a Kickstarter to buy real estate? Look, blow me, ok?

This is the inherent problem with the concept of Kickstarters: they can be used for very good things, like providing tasty video games for the public but, for all of the space-simmy good in the world, someone will always have to find a way to bring the bad into it and run Kickstarters for stupid causes like movies and real estate.

Is someone going to regulate this any time soon? Please do!

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