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I Interviewed For Apple And Survived

Posted by on February 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Dressed up, looking sharp, while primping my A game, I arrived at the hotel 25 minutes before call time. More and more people started to show up and were instructed to write our names on a paper name tag with Apple’s logo plastered on it. My name never looked so full of innovation.

The doors to the conference room opened slowly. As we nervously peered inside, Apple employees of every flavor cheered us on like we were football players running onto the field and they the cheerleaders. Red flag.

Applicants were then subjected to view numerous short films boasting about Apples success and products and why they’re such a great company. Question and answer time soon became the ass kissing game. The disgusted look on my face probably gave away my distaste for brown nosing and was never picked to answer a question.

The PR lady, who I’m sure was on some type of methamphetamine, was up to bat for more indoctrination. “If you’re looking for a job, you’re in the wrong place. We’re looking for individuals who want a career with Apple.” the crazy PR lady exclaimed. The last time I checked, retail jobs weren’t careers. She later became confused to why our energy didn’t match hers and was carefully set aside while another employee gave his spiel.

The rest of the experience was one giant circle jerk of Apple fanboys/girls desperate enough to throw their dignity away.

Perhaps it was my attitude that never got me further than the initial interview. From what I’ve heard, there’s two more interviews that one has to pass to become an Apple employee. I just can’t and won’t sink to the level of treating a shitty job like it’s an internship to a brain surgeon’s lawyer. That and they wouldn’t let me take my name tag home.

In the end, I received an e-mail stating that they went a different way and hired someone else but to try again later. Will I apply again? Maybe. Maybe not. However, I absolutely encourage others to apply and experience a taste of what the tenth level of retail hell can provide.


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