‘The Cabin In The Woods’ Review – If You Must See One Horror Film…
I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I’m really not a fan of horror films. Not that I don’t enjoy the thrill of having my emotions manipulated or the thrill of juicy, juicy gore, but they really don’t make much sense. Many feature a malicious, sociopathic entity that murders people for the heck of it with no rhyme or reason to speak of. People just get murdered. That’s fine once, but to have an entire genre based on such basic tropes is uninteresting. Why is this evil so evil? What is their ultimate plan? Kelly got me to see Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil last year, kinda against my gut, and while it featured a clever twist on the formula, it just wasn’t inventive enough as a film. So what happens when you task the incredibly resourceful Joss Whedon (Buffy, Firefly, Dr. Horrible) with tackling the genre? You get genius.
God Bless America Review: The War on Assholes
Finally, a movie for the rest of us. A middle aged man suffering from a brain tumor gangs up with a psychopathic sixteen year old girl to rid America of reality TV stars, religious bigots, loudmouthed pundits, and annoying theater talkers in God Bless America. Comedian and cult filmmaker Bobcat Goldthwait pulls writing and directing duties and Joel Murray and Tara Lynne Bar star in this twisted little comedy.
Titanic 3D Review: Ready to Go Back?
The old lady kept the diamond all along, and she drops into the ocean at the end. Kate Winslet gets naked. A baby faced Leonardo DiCaprio freezes to death. Oh, and the giant ship sinks after hitting an iceberg, killing hundreds of people. Why am I writing this? Because if you’re reading this then it’s highly likely that you’ve already seen the movie. In fact, you’ve probably either already seen the 3D rerelease by now, you’re planning on seeing the 3D rerelease, or you’re a guy and you’re unknowingly about to be dragged by your significant other to see it again.
War Horse Review: Needs a Little More War and a Little Less Horse
War Horse, directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Jeremy Irvine, Peter Mullan, Emily Watson, and Tom Hiddleston, arrived on Blu-ray this week. This film will either pull you under Spielberg’s spell leaving you scrambling for the nearest box of Kleenex or it will leave you rolling your eyes. Regardless, War Horse is worth seeing at least once.
Watch With eBay Helps You Look Like a Star
Just like most people, when I watch something on TV and I see something a celebrity is wearing that I want I struggle trying to find it. I think I spent a couple of days trying to find the sunglasses Michael Westen on Burn Notice wears. Oliver Peoples Victory 55 Cognac, if you were wondering. Now with Watch With eBay, you will never have that issue again. Read the rest of this article…
Jack and Jill Sweeps the Razzies Winning Every Award
If you haven’t heard of the Razzies before, it’s a spoof of the Academy Awards that started in 1981 to honor the worst in film from 1980. You don’t want to win a Razzie because that means you suck. Well Jack and Jill/Adam Sandler won every category. Lets break that down. Read the rest of this article…
Wrath of the Titans Review: “There’s More to Life Than Gods and Titans”
A man with no personality embarks on a quest to save a bunch of douchebags in Wrath of the Titans by Jonathan Liebesman, the sequel no one particularly asked for to the remake no one particularly wanted. With brilliant CGI, a fine cast of veteran actors, and an absolutely wretched screenplay, Wrath perfectly embodies all of contemporary Hollywood in one film. This film is neither good nor terrible, just aggressively mediocre. All spectacle and no heart.
A Dangerous Method Review: Sex and Cigars
David Cronenberg films come in two flavors: explicitly sexual and explicitly gory. Sometimes those distinct flavors mix and you get something explicitly sexual AND gory. Psychosis and sadomasochistic sex find their way into the itinerary in A Dangerous Method starring Michael Fassbender, Viggo Mortensen, and Keira Knightley. Possibly Cronenberg’s most restrained film yet, this movie will probably only be of interest to admirers of Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung.
Carnage Review: Leave The Fucking Apartment!
Four adults behave badly in a Brooklyn apartment in Carnage, directed by Roman Polanski and starring Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz, and John C. Reilly. This movie seems intent on showing the audience that beneath a thin veneer of civility people are little more than apes throwing shit at one another. I don’t necessarily disagree with that message, but if Polanski & Co. are going to make any broad proclamations about human nature, they need to get the details right. And this movie leaves one gaping plot hole unaddressed, if these two couples hate each other so damn much, why doesn’t the visiting couple leave the fucking apartment?
The Hunger Games Review – Star Wars for Teenage Girls
I took my 13 year-old daughter to the midnight premier of The Hunger Games last night. Every showing was sold out weeks ago and the line stretched around several buildings, with people in tents and lawn chairs blocking traffic. I saw a lot of parents like me who were there with their kids. Teenagers in costumes waved plastic bows and arrows around, and the ratio of girls to guys was probably 4 to 1. I guess teenage girls finally got their Star Wars.
I haven’t seen a movie generate this much hoopla in some time. And while I’m glad I went, the movie is pretty average for the amount of hype it is getting.
