Battleship Review: “You Sunk My Battleship!”
NASA fires some radio messages out into space. Some aliens attack Earth. We really don’t know what they want, but what the fuck does it matter? The writers didn’t care; the director didn’t care; the core audience for this movie won’t care. Why? Because…explosions. Explosions and Brooklyn Decker’s tits. Battleship represents everything that is wrong with Hollywood: It’s loud, it’s dumb, it’s obnoxious, and it’s expensive. It’s a Michael Bay movie without Michael Bay’s name in the credits.
25 Reasons Why You Should Go To Phoenix Comicon ’12
Can you believe Phoenix Comicon ’12 is only a week away? Oh, I can. I already smell the sweat glands from 30,000 soon-to-be attendees! If the potent smell of human B.O. doesn’t grab your attention, perhaps these 25 special events will!
The Dictator Review: Not So Great Dictator
In 1940, not long before America’s entry into World War II, Charlie Chaplin released The Great Dictator—a film about a Jewish barber who swaps places with a stand-in for Adolf Hitler and brings democracy to his country. In 2012 Sacha Baron Cohen has produced The Dictator—a film about a Middle Eastern dictator in the vein of Hussein and Gaddafi who swaps places with a peasant and struggles valiantly to prevent his countrymen from being subjected to horrible, horrible democracy. Chaplin produced a fantastic film. Baron Cohen’s movie? Well, even the title doesn’t attempt to compete with the greatness of that earlier film.
TV Cancellation/Renewal Roundup: Why Do I Bother Watching TV Anyway?
There is a bunch of stuff that I don’t agree with, with this round of cancellations and renewals. I suffer the most out of the entire staff because I will pretty much watch anything that keeps my attention. That being said if you listened to our last podcast you heard that Alcatraz was cancelled. Who didn’t see that coming though? We’re starting off with the bad news first then ending with the good news! If I don’t talk about a show it’s because I don’t care about it. Deal. Read the rest of this article…
Dark Shadows Review: Familiarity Breeds Contempt
Tim Burton’s remake of Dark Shadows serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when you take of a collection of brilliant, talented people and allow them to make a multi-million dollar movie in a state of complete complacency. This movie sports a fantastic cast including Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Jackie Earl Haley, Chloe Moretz, and Eva Green among others; it benefits from slick production values; and it is based on an intriguing high concept. All of these great elements, however, never coalesce into anything more than a tedious theatrical experience.
Mother’s Day Review: The Perfect Gift…For the Mother You Hate
I suppose the most surprising thing about Darren Lynn Bousman’s Mother’s Day isn’t that it is a horror movie about Mother’s Day—nearly every other holiday has already gotten the horror treatment by now—but that it’s also a remake. This movie is the perfect gift for the man who hates his mom. Mother’s Day is a nasty piece of torture porn that will leave you actively hating the human race, which is not at all surprising since this flick comes from the guy who directed Saw II, III, and IV.
Because I’m A Contrarian Jerk: I Thought The Avengers Was Rubbish
Before we start, let me note that most of the staff thought The Avengers was a pretty good film. You can even read our official review, done by Rob. That said, I came out of the theater with a very different opinion after two and a half hours of superhero malarkey: I thought it kinda sucked. I can’t be the only one in the world to believe so, but I’m obviously in the minority. So what was wrong with The Avengers? A lot. (Also: there are going to be plenty of spoilers, so please don’t advance unless you’ve seen it. Or simply don’t care.)
Goodnight, Sweet Prince. Beastie Boy MCA Dead At 47
Adam Yauch, one of the three founders of mega-hit group Beastie Boys, has succumbed to cancer at the age of 47. Read the rest of this article…
The Avengers – Review: Super Movie Or Super Dud?
Let me start this off by telling you something I’ve said before; I don’t do comic books. I never have and I think it’s safe to say, at this point in my life, that I never will.
That being said, I have watched a lot of super-hero movies. Why? Well because I don’t pretend to be the kind of guy who needs high-brow intellectual crap to entertain me and I’m not at all above getting a thrill out of seeing people get kicked in the junk by people with super powers.
So I sat down and watched “The Avengers”. Here’s what I thought of it.
Contraband – The Epic Film Regarding Illegal Wares – Now On VOD!
Have you had a chance to catch Mark Wahlberg’s latest action flick? You should drop what you’re doing and snap it up! Before they became our sponsor, we had a chance to view it, just to see if it was the real deal. For those on the fence or hesitant, it’s well worth your time to watch Funky Bunch Wahlberg get his theft on to save his family. Read the rest of this article…
