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Why Is BioWare Spamming Me With Offers For SWTOR?

Posted by on November 15, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Mike Ditka’s gonna kick your ass…srsly.

If you followed my coverage of Star Wars: The Old Republic for any amount of time you’ll know a few things about the game. You’ll know that I played it, you’ll know that I gave it a really good score, pre-launch, and you’ll know that within a couple of months the 9 I gave it turned in to a 3 because they couldn’t manage their game at all.

You’ll also know that I quit playing the game, predicted it would go free to play and then, in very short order, it did so.

So why are they spamming me with emails?

They started hitting me this morning at just after 0900. I got one and then about another 20 minutes later, I got another. I ignored both of them because they ruined their game and turned it into a steaming pile of gelatinous emu feces so I don’t want to have anything to do with it…They must have figured out that I wasn’t interested and thought “well, maybe if we send him ANOTHER email, we’ll hook him”.

Did you assholes NEED to send me the same email 3 times? NO!

So they’re offering me “free cartel coins” which, apparently, allow a person to buy specialty items in the game. But, I’m not PLAYING the game so what the fuck do I want cartel coins for?

GO AWAY!!!

Remember when I cancelled my subscription all those months ago, BioWare? Well, that was the customer/vendor equivalent of me breaking up with you and now you’re being like that really clingy psycho girlfriend who just won’t let go and comes around digs through your trash and gets your cell phone bill and then calls you all manic because when she called ALL THE NUMBERS on your bill, a woman answered one of them and then you tell her “look, we broke up” and she gets all mad and starts telling you that she’s going to ruin your life and then she does crazy stuff like breaking in to her own apartment and slashing her own tires and trying to make it look like you did it but the only evidence the cops find points them to her so they know she did it but they feel sorry for her so they don’t take her to jail and then she starts showing up at all the places you hung out and trying to make you jealous by bringing other guys around but you don’t care so you ignore her and then she finally loses the last shred of human dignity she has AND EMAILS YOU THE SAME SHIT, 3 TIMES IN ONE DAY!!!

Just stop it, BioWare. I’m not going to take you back this time. It’s not me, it’s you.

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