‘Paranormal Activity 4’ Review: They’re Not Even Trying Anymore
“HEY GUYS, DERPY DERPY DERP, I’M JUST MINDIN’ MY OWN BUSINESS, NO SCARES HERE.”
The Paranormal Activity series has become a shell of itself. Once a promising setup, these flicks are now a sequence of minutes copied and pasted from previous iterations with a few bits altered and characters changed to keep it fresh. The scariest part of the film was about two-thirds of the way through when I had to hold in a wet cough and I couldn’t find my cough drop, buried somewhere between my wallet and car keys. Then, when I had said cough drop, the movie was extremely quiet and I didn’t want to be that guy who was undoing the paper wrapper on his lozenge while the kid was wandering the house with a laptop in complete silence waiting for a jump scare.
As far as the movie goes, let me let Paramount’s President Of Movie Development explain how things are done.
Opening Weekend Movie Trailer Round Up!
The quality of trailers you’re about to see.
It’s true what they say; trailers are the best part of the movie theater experience. Forget the over buttered popcorn that left you $10 poorer. Forget the movie you came to see. Movie trailers make the experience because most of the time, you’ll see a new one – and that’s exciting. Tonight, I’ll give you a little taste of that feeling with the trailers of this weekend’s opening movies.
‘Decoding Deepak’ Review: 74 Minutes Explaining Very Little
“What do you think of this street?” “The street is both here and not here, its-” “Yeah, okay dad.”
I’m familiar with the name Deepak Chopra, but not so much about his philosophies. Half-way through this documentary, which assumes you have some sort of acquaintance with his lectures or books despite spending a good portion of time trying to explain them, I decided to discover what exactly was the big deal about Deepak Chopra. And now having seen it, I still don’t know.
Dexter Season 7 Episode 3 Recap – “Buck The System”
Open wide, Blondie.
We’re back with another recap of Showtime’s killer serial Dexter. The moral of today’s episode is: A Serial Killer Can’t Change His Spots. Blood spots, that is. If you want to see Dexter kill a bunch of random people (in his mind), plus weirdly flirt with Yvonne Strahovski from NBC’s Chuck, then this is the episode for you.
Listen To Shiny Toy Guns’ New Album – III – Right Now
Superman would be proud.
It’s been a long time coming for the synth-rock quartet Shiny Toy Guns, but their newest album, their third, even, is dropping in nine days. Ahead of the drop, they’ve made the entire disc available for streaming. After two confidence-mining, soft singles (here and here, although technically three when you figure in last year’s “The Sun”), listening to the full album restore some of my faith. It’s too early to render any verdicts, so I’ll link it for you below.
Argo Review: So Unbelievable It Has to Be True
Drink up, guys. You’ve made an awesome movie.
With Gone Baby Gone, writer/director/producer/actor Ben Affleck showed that he could stand behind the camera and direct a competent film. With The Town, he showed that his first feature wasn’t a fluke, that he was actually a good director. With Argo, Ben Affleck comfortably joins the ranks of America’s best living filmmakers and easily outpaces any other actor/director currently working in Hollywood. Forget Robert Redford, George Clooney, or Clint Eastwood. Based on his first three movies now, Ben Affleck has been remarkably more consistent at turning in great movies than any other actor/director this side of Cassavetes. Argo is one of the best all around pictures of the year, benefiting from a fantastic script, brilliant performances, and sure handed direction.
Seven Psychopaths Review: Quentin Tarantino Meets Charlie Kaufman
Pictured: Two Psychopaths, one alcoholic, and one Shih Tzu.
In writer/director Martin McDonagh’s Seven Psychopaths, an alcoholic screenwriter (Colin Farrell) and his psychopathic buddy (Sam Rockwell) band together to write a screenplay titled “Seven Psychopaths.” Of course, since one of the co-writers is a free-spirited psychopath and the other is a self-pitying alcoholic, it doesn’t take long before they run afoul of a psychopathic gangster (Woody Harrelson). Christopher Walken, of course, balances out the cast as a pacifist psychopath, and Tom Waits turns up as a bunny-carrying psychopath. Why not?
The Goon Hits Kickstarter
Cough up the money, ya cheap bastard.
There’s been a big announcement in the world of comic books, movies, and comic book movies, guys. Yesterday, David Fincher and Eric Powell took to Kickstarter to fund a demo-reel for their proposed feature film adaptation of The Goon, the most twisted, demented, inventive comic series around. It’s really hard to classify the series except to say that it’s a hodgepodge of ‘30s gangster flicks, B-horror movies, and slapstick comedies. In short, the comic series is a beautiful, manic piece of pop art.
Sinister Review: The Best Horror Movie You’re Likely to See This Season
What’s in the box?!? What’s in the…oh wait, wrong movie.
After the brilliant Cabin in the Woods came out earlier this year and skewered pretty much every other horror movie ever made, I found myself wondering if filmmakers Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard had broken the horror genre. Could horror movies ever be scary again after every technique and trope in the genre had been painstakingly deconstructed and mercilessly mocked? Well, the answer to the question comes in the form of Sinister from director Scott Derrickson, and that answer is a resounding “yes!” Sinister is one of those rare horror movies that (mostly) eschews cheap thrills and opts instead for instilling a sense of lingering dread in its audience. It’s the kind of movie that leaves you wanting to make sure that your home security lights are working and that all of your doors are locked after you get home from the cinema.
Would Everyone Shut Up About Big Bird?
The pimptacular Big Bird already rides in a tinted limo, he doesn’t need more attention.
I didn’t really think it would last this long. During the first Presidential debate a week ago, GOP candidate Mitt Romney stated he would end government subsidies for PBS – and subsequently, it’s large feathered mascot – to save the hemorrhaging federal budget if elected. Suddenly, like the squaw of a a million ravenous crows, the population sprung up to protect their beloved public television. I’ve got a heads up for you guys: you still don’t care about PBS.
